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Why Marriage and Being In Love Are Different: Rules You Need To Know

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To understand the power of love, one has to understand that being in a marriage and in a relationship are two completely different things. Love in its purest form is something worth living for, something worth even dying for, but being a relationship or marriage is making a huge compromise and learning how to share your life with someone else.
Because of that, you have to know a few things that are going to help you keep your head always free of negative thoughts and to be always given the opportunity to show your love in its most powerful ways- both physically and emotionally.
Here are 8 rules that will help you become the best version of yourself in a relationship and understand the concept of a relationship as a whole.

1. Always be yourself.

If you want to be the best version of yourself, first you need to take off all of the masks and be the true self.

2. Be confident.

Confidence is crucial. Have faith that everything in this universe is driven by the energy. If your gut is telling you something- do not hesitate- take the chance!

3. Don’t settle for less.
Know what you want and let others know too. Do not settle for less because you will suffer in regret. Be with the person that you truly love and deserves you.

4. People rarely change.
When I said don’t change for your partner, the opposite of this is also true. Don’t try to make changes in your partner. Somehow, people remain the same as much as you would like them to change. So there is no point wasting your time and energy on something that isn’t going to happen.

5. Looks are still important.

Well, they do. Let’s not deny the importance of physical attraction and for it to happen looks are also important.

6. There is a big difference between love and lust.

You have to understand the difference between love and lust. Sometimes all that we feel for our partner is just lust and we keep thinking that we are in love. So you have to learn to distinguish between love and lust.

7. Love only is not enough.

We see in the movies that love is everything that we need. But this isn’t true. There are a lot of things that make a relationship great like understanding and compatibility. So don’t think that all you need is just fairy tale love.

8. Let go of the past

Life is happening right there and right now. You must not waste time overthinking unproductively about the things you should’ve done, could’ve done or would’ve done.Focus on making clear decisions for the future and detach from thoughts that make you feel bad.

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LIFESTYLE

SEX RESEARCH: How Long Should Sex Last? Ugandans Speak Out…

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A coupe in love: Courtesy photo

If you’re a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex “normally” last?

A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intravaginal ejaculation latency time?

I know there’s a lot more to sex than putting the penis into the vagina and ejaculating, but the rest is not always easy to define (kissing? Rubbing? Grinding?). To keep things simple and specific, we’ll just focus on the time to ejaculation.

Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter. What about just asking people how long they take, you say? Well, there are two main problems with this. One is that people are likely to be biased upwards in their time estimates, because it’s socially desirable to say you go long into the night.

The other problem is that people don’t necessarily know how long they go for. Sex isn’t something people normally do while monitoring the bedside clock, and unassisted time estimation may be difficult during a transportative session of love-making.

What does the research say?

The best study we have estimating the average time to ejaculation in the general population involved 500 couples from around the world timing themselves having sex over a four-week period – using a stopwatch.

That is as practically awkward as it sounds: participants pressed “start” at penile penetration and “stop” at ejaculation. You may note this could affect the mood somewhat, and might perhaps not exactly reflect the natural flow of things. But – science is rarely perfect, and this is the best we’ve got.

So what did the researchers find? The most striking result is that there was a huge amount of variation. The average time for each couple (that is, averaged across all the times they had sex) ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. That’s an 80-fold difference.

There were some interesting secondary results, too. For example, condom use didn’t seem to affect the time, and neither did men’s being circumcised or not, which challenges some conventional wisdom regarding penile sensitivity and its relationship to staying power in the sack.So it’s clear there’s no one “normal” amount of time to have sex. The average (median, technically) across all couples, though, was 5.4 minutes. This means that if you line up the 500 couples from shortest sex to longest sex, the middle couple goes for an average of 5.4 minutes each time they do it.

What Ugandans Say….

Prince Woody Bagala-Alina Kayanja: 15 mins minimum, 50 mins maximum. What matters is the results and the feelings along the journey there, not how long it lasts.

Mubiru James: 1st round 45 mins, 2nd 25 mins den last but not least 15 mins

Nalongo Byooya: 10 minutes for romance then 20 minutes for sex

Nasaazi Zion: Some people  are always in hurry as if what they are eating can ever get finished.. …or reduce even a little bit…

Tania Nalu: 5 minutes of foreplay and 20 minutes of good sex. If his ‘thingi’ is weak, then 2 minutes of sex. I think the men who last seconds are wondering what the word minutes and hours mean.

Katabaazi Ponsiano: It depends to how deep you two are feeling for yourselves, One day some yrs back I had sex with someone for less than 5 minutes,
But it was the best game of our lives ever. We both took different directions but up to this day she can calls and reminds me of that moment,
Therefore it’s not about how short or long, but are minds and bodies completely ready to have sex? The biggest problem with people is to serve half baked food and by the time you reach in the middle of journey everything is as boring as hell

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LIFESTYLE

How Your Body Speaks To You When You’ve Met Your True Love

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The mystic ways of the universe are always intriguing and interesting for us, people. The creation of a perfect bond between two souls is a cosmic event and love is the greatest gift given to us, humans, to spread it and nurture it. Love creates the greatest things, love continues humanity and love make miracles happen.
However, they often say that you will just know if you met the true love of your life. That is actually true, there are a couple of interesting signs that describe the physical manifestation of true, passionate love.
1. YOUR INTUITION TELLS YOU

Of course, this is your strongest weapon- your intuition will tell you many things, involving many aspects of your life. Our subconsciousness works 24/7 and the subliminal messages that our inner-self provide could be crucial. When you meet the love of your life, your intuition will certainly give you a sign.

2. YOU FEEL MOTIVATED

You suddenly feel up for anything! You become more reliable on yourself and you are not afraid to take risks or the first step ahead. The love inspires you to be the best version of yourself and to give them a true reason to become the best version of themselves too.

3. YOU ARE RELIEVED FROM PAIN

If you feel any pain, and this pain becomes relieved by the thought of your lover and your relationship with them, then it’s a clear sign that your partner affects you in the right way. This relief often comes from the euphoria you sense while you’re thinking about your love, which is just like a natural painkiller.

Kyadondo East Mp Robert Kyagulanyi with wife Barbie during their courtship days

4. YOU FEEL CALM AND RELAXED

We can all agree that all relationships need work. On the other hand, when you meet your right person, everything just falls into place, and you don’t feel like you are trying too hard to save the relationship. That makes you feel calm and peaceful.

5. YOU ARE SEXUALLY AROUSED AND EXCITED

You understand that sex is one of the essential of the relationships. You become aware of this because you have a STRONG physical need for your partner and both your body and soul approve it.

6. YOU FEEL WARM

You feel the warmth of love when you are together with your partner. You feel strong affection and vulnerability- this is not a bad sign, but a clear sign that you feel comfortable and relaxed in their presence.

7. YOU FEEL MORE OPTIMISTIC THAN BEFORE

Your view of the world simultaneously changes. You become more optimistic and always look at the bright side of life.

8. YOU MAKE HEALTHIER CHOICES

You start making radical changes in your life- you start thinking more about your health and how to improve it. It’s really amazing how people quit smoking, drinking, drugs etc; after they meet the love of their life. Being in true, passionate love, like we already said, is a constant improvement to be the best version of yourself.

9. YOU EXPERIENCE GENUINE EMPATHY

You will feel a strong empathy like never before. The invisible bond forged between the two souls becomes stronger when you’re suffering or experience joy. You will start to share these moments emotionally and you will be amazed by how strong your emotional connection is with its strong effects on both of you.

10. YOUR CHEEKS FLUSH AND YOUR PALMS SWEAT

If your partner makes you feel excited and you’re looking forward to meeting them, then you can experience some symptoms on your body which are similar to anxiety; such as, for example, your heart beating faster, your hands sweating, or your cheeks flushing.

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LIFESTYLE

MUST READ: 10 Bible Verses That Will Shock You, Artistes, Mama Fiina & Gossipers warned

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Since today is a Sunday, The Grapevine decided to talk to a few religious leaders who gave us some very surprising bible verses on things that people do normally but are abnormal in the bible and call for heavy punishment on the offenders. We give you 10 of these things today in our spirituality section:

1.       How many times have you looked at a beautiful endowed lady in a short dress and admired her or wanted to bed her? This is what the Bible says: “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)

2.       Did you know that the Bible says that it is an abomination to paint your skin or to do tatoos, Here is a verse for you: You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the LORD.(Leviticus 19:28)

3.       Women, Please make sure you leave men fighting for you to sort themselves out otherwise you may lose your hand: “When two men are fighting and the wife of one of them intervenes to drag her husband clear of his opponent, if she puts out her hand and catches hold of the man by his privates, you must cut off her hand and show her no mercy.” (Deuteronomy 25:11)

4.       Those promoting Homosexuality, this is for you. Homosexuality is spelled out as a sin clearly in this Bible verse: “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” (Leviticus 18:22)

5.       Those who consult evil spirits and run to Mama Fiina for help, this is your warning: “Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.” (Leviticus 19:31)

6.       Women these days stress men with money for hair, ear rings and necklaces but do you know that wearing them could take you to hell: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” (1 Timothy 2:9)

7.       Wearing torn clothes is a fashion trend even among celebs these days, but do you know that a person who wears such deserves to die (not our words): “Do not let the hair of your heads hang loose, and do not tear your clothes, lest you die, and wrath come upon all the congregation; but let your brothers, the whole house of Israel, bewail the burning that the LORD has kindled. (Leviticus 10:6)

8.       Getting remarried after getting divorced, we see even religious leaders doing this, which bible are they reading: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” (Mark 10:11–12)

9.       Gossiping: Aha! Kasuku, Zahara Toto, Annatalia, Fifi, Seguya and my Kampala Sun, Red Pepper colleagues AND members on the team that works on Grapevine Gossip, repent for the kingdom of God is near: “Do not spread slanderous gossip among your people. “Do not stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is threatened. I am the LORD. (Leviticus 19:16)

10.   To those who use withdraw method during sex, please use a condom at least hahaha… “But Onan was not willing to have a child who would not be his own heir. So, whenever he had intercourse with his brother’s wife, he spilled the semen on the ground. This prevented her from having a child who would belong to his brother.” (Genesis 38:9)

When you find yourself in hell, don’t say we didn’t warn you. Leave your favourite bible verse on things people currently do but are forbidden in our comments section…

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