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Between The Sheets: How To Know That Your Spouse Has Started Cheating

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The Grapevine Love Doctor

 

People assume that most marriages fail because of big bombs—cheating, financial mismanagement, addiction, dishonesty, but the truth is, it’s the small, everyday action or lack of action—that severs the connection between two people, resulting in a loss of love.

It seems all fun and games until you actually get married. What people tend to miss out on the most these days is whether or not they are ready to spend their entire life with this same person? At times we demand more independence than our partner is willing to give us; but, the temporary love that we feel for that person overshadows it for some time. This naturally results in cheating on our partner with someone else. Another reason could be interdependence. This is when you feel like your intimacy needs aren’t being met by your partner, which is often visible through poor communication, lack of spark, or feeling unloved.

Here is a list of things you should look out for to know that your spouse is having another affair.

Your spouse is too cool about the cell phone

Your immediate reaction when you get to know your spouse is cheating on you is to check their phones. Generally, partners are inclined towards immediately checking their phone (at times with their consent) and scroll through texts and incoming/outgoing calls. The thing to ponder on the most is that why would he give you his phone? And if he does give you full access, he either has a second phone or have deleted all of his call history and texts. Because no one is that dumb!

Or, he won’t let you near his phone

He may have passwords on his phone, something that he has never before. They may not even let their kids play with it, something that they used to do very often. Red flag alert!

Passwords should be shared in a marriage; there are random times when you need the phone number for the plumber and it’s in your husband’s phone or email account, or you need to check an e-receipt that was sent to your husband. “It’s not that you need a list of his passwords, but when you ask for one for la legitimate reason, he should give it to you. This should not be a big deal. By not telling you the code, your spouse may be admitting to a secret of some sort.

He smells differently

When he or she leaves the house in the morning smelling like their usual fragrance and returns in the evening smelling like something else. If your partner smells impossibly fresh and clean after a hard day at the office, OR if they smell a different fragrance from the one he/she wear, could be the affair has already started.

He’s changed his appearance

Forget the obvious (the wedding rings accidentally replaced on the wrong finger or they dropped it down a drain) – look for subtle changes. Like, Is he hitting the gym and revamping his wardrobe without a word of criticism or encouragement from you? Could be he’s out to impress someone who’s caught their eye. A sudden change in your partner’s music taste may also be alarming for you, especially if they hated that particular genre before.

They no longer want you to do laundry

You may be very happy at first that, he has started doing his own laundry. But why such change, is the real question. Your spouse is probably trying to hide some evidence on his clothes, in his/her pants or in the pockets and it’s much safer for someone who’s cheating to do their own laundry

 

A sudden need for privacy

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention then something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse.

He has a special Facebook/Watsapp friend

Experts say social media have made it easier for people who are inclined to cheat on their significant other to do so with partners both familiar and previously unknown. In today’s era when friendships are judged on the basis of actions displayed on the internet it is easier to judge what is your partner up to these days. He may have this special someone who keeps tagging him on all the memes or write inappropriate stuff on his Facebook page, twitter or Watsapp. You may want to confront your partner here.

There are blackouts

Blackout here doesn’t refer to being unconscious but about a spouse having blackout periods where you don’t know where he or she is, you can’t reach them, and you don’t get a viable explanation about where they’ve been or why they didn’t respond to a call or text. It hardly takes two seconds to send a text and it’s not normal for a married or seriously committed couple to be out of touch for hours wondering what the heck is going on

They have new hobbies that exclude you

Of course their new hobbies would exclude you. Although it’s wonderful news if your partner takes on a new hobby especially if it contributes to his/her health, but concerns should arise. Is it something that just appeared out of the blue or did he always had a passion for it? Secondly, do they devote an unusual amount of hours and efforts into it?

Behavior that just doesn’t add up

Is it very common for your spouse to not be at the place where he was expected to be? Are they missing time behind which they have no genuine reasoning? Do they have receipts from place you’ve never even heard about let alone be go to. Is he missing clothes from his wardrobe? This kind of behavior should be an alarming sign for you. You have reasons to suspect cheating.

Things you’ll hear

Once you confront them, you’ll hear things like we’re just friends or other lost commonly used phrase is that I need you to respect my privacy. That’s an alarming sign, guys.

You’re doing all the work in the relationship

The person, who gives the most in a relationship, is the person who is less likely to having an affair or cheat because he is the one who is trying to make this relationship work. He is the one who really looks after it and nurtures it, so he naturally wouldn’t want to tear it apart.

The problem arises where they are so fixated on the relationship that they forget the person they’re building it with. They are all about building a nice home and a financial future but tend to ignore the needs of their partner.

Less talking

If he has generally stopped sharing stuff or is talking less, it could be because he is scared of slipping up. He’ll automatically not want to tell you everything he has been up to lately or what was he doing when you weren’t around.

Your friend drops hints

If your partner’s been seen with someone else or confided to a friend who’s then told their partner, friends may try to warn you.

Men are more likely to cover up for each other; women feel obliged to give some sort of warning, no matter how subtle. While few people will blurt the news out, many give themselves away by making indirect comments. But its better you blurt it out, you may save a life or two.

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LIFESTYLE

8 Ways To Be Intimate With Your Partner (Without Having Sex)

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LIFESTYLE

If you and your partner plan to be together for a long time to come, you’ll surely want to find ways to stay close far into your future, and it doesn’t always mean getting physical with each other. If you can keep the spark alive, it can be rekindled into a flame of passion that can keep a long-term romance from becoming just a companionship.

8 WAYS TO BE INTIMATE WITH YOUR PARTNER (WITHOUT HAVING SEX)

1. COMMUNICATION IS INTIMACY

Researchers studying closeness in long-term relationships found that ‘disclosure about needs, wants, and desires may be an important way to promote sexual communal strength in ongoing relationships.’ Simply talking through what you like is a way to create a close, intimate bond with your partner and keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Ask open-ended questions about what your partner needs and wants in order to feel fulfilled in the relationship. You don’t want to find out after a two year relationship that your partner needed something that you weren’t giving them so they decided to leave.

2. GET GOOD AT GUESSING YOUR PARTNER’S EMOTIONS

Can you tell what your partner is feeling right now? By looking at his or her body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, as well as his or her words you should be able to tell. If your partner is not looking ‘joyful,’ consider it your job to make sure that you do your best to help change their expression to a positive one.

Empathy is something that emotionally sensitive people can give to their partner. Supporting your partner’s emotions, no matter what they are, and giving them a supportive place to express them is one of the best gifts that you can give to your partner.

3. USE ALL OF YOUR SENSES

If you can’t describe your partner’s scent, focus on your sense of smell the next time you spend close time together. Do the same thing for your sense of touch. Be present in the moment of your partner’s body existing next to yours in warm, intimate closeness.

4. OPEN UP

Emotional openness is one way to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Honest communication builds trust between partners. When you trust your partner, you are more willing to open yourself to be vulnerable, which we are during intimacy.

Open up about what you are afraid your partner won’t like about you. Showing vulnerability can be very attractive. Exploring the emotion of vulnerability is one way to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

5. FOCUS ON THE FUTURE TOGETHER

Commitment means that you continue to have a shared goal of being happy together in the future, and knowing that your relationship is secure is very attractive. Security and trust is important in order for you to feel trusting enough to work to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

6. COME TOGETHER

Create a communal bond with your partner by working toward something as a partnership.For example, you might work toward early retirement and a future travel goal with your lover. The shared destiny will keep you a united front moving forward together.

7. SHARE MEMORIES OF YOUR CHILDHOOD

You might think you know your partner completely, but there are surely that you don’t know about each other’s past before you met, or even way before that. Our early memories with our family are often the building blocks for how we see relationships.

Related article: 5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship

These beliefs about closeness, love, trust, etc. are formed in our youth and sharing these memories with your partner can be a bonding experience. How old were you when you first learned what sex was? What do you wish your parents did differently in their relationship?

Express gratitude for your partner’s past experiences that brought them into the right moment of your life. The same researchers who studied closeness in long-term relationships also say ‘expressing gratitude to a relationship partner promotes communal strength.’

8. MAKE NEW MEMORIES

Having more fun with your partner is the most fun way to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Think about what you both love doing and spend lots of time doing it.

In a study of traits that men and women found desirable, someone who was ‘personable’ aroused more passion in both men and women. Being ‘personable’ meant that participants rated the person they felt passion for as being ‘fun, responsive, trustworthy, and nice.’ Obviously you could try being all of these things to your partner, but committing to have fun with your partner is one way you can keep the spark alive in your relationship.

When was the last time you laughed together? No, I mean, REALLY laughed? Positive people know that there should be lots more laughing between lovers and that it’s the best contagious thing you can catch. Laughing is one perfectly acceptable display of affection

source Positive energy+

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LIFESTYLE

12 Foods That Make Eczema Worse

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Telltale itchy bumps and blisters are the bane of anyone who’s ever dealt with eczema. One hidden culprit might be what you’re eating. Science is still connecting the dots between diet and a topic dermatitis, but one or more of these key foods might be causing or making your flares worse.

This common inflammatory skin condition affects adults, children, and babies. Itchy rashes can pop up anywhere and seemingly at any time. Dermatologists and doctors aren’t always quite certain what causes it. However, your diet, environment, and stress can aggravate and cause symptoms.

Atopic and contact dermatitis are the most common types of eczema. No matter your type, the foods you eat can worsen your symptoms or lead to a flare-up. It’s best to learn your triggers, especially if they aren’t on our list. Every person is different, and some of us have hidden food allergies and intolerances that can cause flares too.

WHAT CAUSES FLARES?

• Food allergy and intolerances

• Allergies—seasonal, environmental, and pet allergies

• Medicines

• Stress—mental, physical, and immune system

• Chemicals

• Fabric

• Breast milk

• Unknown cause

The foods you eat can cause flares or aggravate your symptoms. They can also make a current episode worse. However, some people with atopic and contact dermatitis consume these foods without issue. It’s important to know your body, take notes in a diary of what you ate and anything you came into contact with after a flare occurs. This assists you in ruling out foods as well as environmental causes.

12 FOODS THAT CAN TRIGGER AN ECZEMA FLARE

1. Dairy Milk

2. Milk products, including butter, yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, and sour cream

3. Eggs

4. Soy

5. Gluten

6. Nuts

7. Fish

8. Shellfish

9. Grapes

10. Oranges

11. Tomatoes

12. Processed Foods, including bacon, sausage, and lunchmeat.

ECZEMA HOME REMEDIES

Before you begin self-treating at home, you should identify your triggers. Food is only one way. Stress, sweat, environmental chemical exposure, and other allergies can also cause a flare-up.

Keep a food diary and note your flares. Don’t forget to jot down stress levels, your clothing, and any new soaps or perfumes. This information can assist you and your doctor at determining causes and aggravators.

CONSIDER WORKING WITH AN ALLERGIST

An allergist will perform a skin test. Positive results allow you to determine what foods you’re allergic to, but the tests aren’t always conclusive for intolerances. Food intolerances can affect your body in numerous ways.

Here is an example, which is a personal experience. After consuming dairy, a lactose intolerant person can have digestive symptoms one time, then have digestive issues and a flare the next. During an active flare, a person’s symptoms worsen when consuming a trigger food

ECZEMA FRIENDLY DIETS

Eczema home remedies should start with your diet. This enables you to root out culprits quickly. Some people prefer a standard elimination diet and later modify their current eating habits based on the results.

THE STANDARD ELIMINATION DIET

Elimination diets take time, and yes, you’ll greatly restrict the foods you can eat. Most people can do this safely at home without a doctor; however, if you suspect a food allergy, you’ll need the guidance of your doctor because of increased anaphylaxis risk.

Some elimination diets remove foods one at a time. Other diets will remove all suspected foods for about three weeks, then slowly add back each food. The idea here is to let your body heal and reset for that small period. This allows you to better judge your symptoms.

If you do remove all foods and your symptoms don’t clear, food is most likely not your culprit. However, several studies support elimination diets for alleviating symptoms. Other studies have found a direct correlation to food intolerances, food allergies, and eczema. In both cases, symptoms disappeared or were greatly reduced.

OTHER ELIMINATION DIETS

• Modified low carb—Paleo, Atkins, and Keto

• Low-FODMAPS

• Fasting Elimination Diet—only under the guidance of a doctor

• Gluten Free

• Sugar Free

• Lactose Free

The major concern will be finding a balance between your nutritional needs and your food lifestyle choice. Elimination diets aren’t always easy, and they can pose challenges and bring new symptoms.

PLANT-BASED DIETS

Vegans and vegetarians can try a modified diet, but again, you’ll need to remove the common culprit foods and still meet your nutritional requirements. Soy, including whole soy foods, can be triggers. Other legumes can be too.

If you prefer a plant-based diet, speak with a nutritionist, doctor, or naturopath before you begin. Even though diet’s one of many eczema home remedies, their guidance can help you succeed without compromising your health. This is especially important with children and infants.

VITAMIN AND MINERAL SUPPLEMENTS

Vitamins and minerals nourish your skin, and they assist in healing inside and out. If you haven’t looked into supplements, you might benefit from some or all listed below. Whole food sources help too.

VITAMINS, MINERALS, AND SUPPLEMENTS

• Vitamin B complex

• Vitamin D

• Vitamin E

• Vitamin C

• Gamma-Linolenic Acid (GLA) or Omega-6 fatty acids

• Probiotics

• Omega-3 fatty acids, such as fish or flaxseed oil if not a trigger

COLLOIDAL OATMEAL BATH

Colloidal oatmeal is a fancy way of saying finely ground oatmeal. One reason doctors and dermatologists recommend this treatment is because it does provide relief. It’s not always convenient to use, but it’s natural and safe for use on children and babies too.

You can purchase readymade packets or grind your own. You’ll need about 1-cup per bath, and you simply add it to your lukewarm water as you fill the tub. Soak for about 10 minutes.

ANTIHISTAMINE

For severe cases, you might consider taking an antihistamine. These medications can quickly calm itchy rashes and reduce inflammation. However, antihistamines are an unnatural treatment that takes time to work. Long-term use can lead to resistance too.

ESSENTIAL OILS

Many of the listed essential oils contain antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory properties. You can us these in a diffuser, but a topical application with a carrier oil might provide more benefits. Eczema home remedies that use topical essential oils can reduce your symptoms and irritation. The infused carrier oil pulls the healing properties of essential oils into your skin through absorption.

ESSENTIAL OILS

• Tea tree oil

• Lavender

• Chamomile

• Thyme

• Frankincense

• Basil

• Rose Geranium

• Bergamot

• Eucalyptus

CARRIER OILS TO NOURISH SKIN

• Coconut oil

• Olive Oil

• Avocado

• Shea Butter

• Jojoba

• Vitamin E oil

• Rosehip oil

• Sweet Almond oil

Carrier oils make excellent moisturizers on their own. Of course, you can add essential oils to scent them too. With any product, oils included, perform a patch test with oils you haven’t previously used.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USING ESSENTIAL OILS

• Carrier oil of choice

• 3 drops of chosen essential oil

1. To carrier oil, add 3 drops of your preferred essential oil.

2. Mix well.

3. Apply to the affected area.

4. Repeat two to three times a day as needed.

You can create your own blend of essential oils and experiment with the 1:3 ratio too. Please note that the ratio is for adult use only. A 2:3 ratio better suits tender and sensitive skin. Don’t apply essential oils to babies who are under three months old.

While essential oils are generally recognized as safe, you should be aware of precautions with babies and children.

CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE AND PRODUCTS

From laundry to dish soap and skincare to beauty care, you need to rethink your applications and the products you use too. Keep in mind that natural products can still contain food ingredients that are on the list, and they can still cause or worsen a flare.

This means if you’re sensitive to soy, you shouldn’t use a shampoo with soy keratin. Many products also hide ingredients and fragrances with generic terms. The only way for you to truly know what’s in your products will be to make them yourself.

If overhauling your personal care and cleaning items is too daunting or expensive, tackle one area or product at a time.

DAILY TIPS

• Keep your skin hydrated inside and out

• Avoid submerging in hot water; shorten shower time

• Pat dry, don’t rub

• Use a moisturizer within 3 minutes after leaving the tub to seal in moisture

• Use unscented, dye-free skin and beauty care

• Switch to mineral-based makeup or wear makeup less often

• Avoid perfumes, but solid perfumes with only herbs and essential oils are okay

• Use plain castile, oatmeal, or goat’s milk soap

• Avoid triggers

• Use meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises to reduce stress

• Shower after exercise

• Practice safe sunning and use a natural sunscreen

• Don’t scratch

FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT ECZEMA AND ECZEMA HOME REMEDIES

Eczema can disrupt your life. Aside from itching, it can show up anywhere on your body, including your face. An active flare can also lead to more stress, which is counterproductive in treating it. Be sure to relax and use techniques that de-stress on a regular basis.

Certain foods can cause your symptoms to worsen and be the cause. You can use home remedies in combination with an elimination diet to reduce occurrences. In some cases, your symptoms might disappear altogether.

An upside to home treatments is that many of them nourish and protect your skin. Most are safe to use on children and older babies without worrying about harsh chemicals. They’re better for overall health and the environment too. From Positive energy+

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LIFESTYLE

IT’S FINALLY HERE: Do You Sit For Long Hours Or Lack Time To Exercise: Wandegeya Based Mystique’s Automatic Massage Bed Is The Answer

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Do you sit for long hours? Are you regularly on the road driving? Do you lack time to exercise regularly? Do you have back pain?
The automatic massage bed at Mystique Massage Clinic in Wandegeya is the answer. According to Dr. Chris Kiggundu, a specialist in bones, the automatic massage bed has several benefits since it scans the whole spinal code system from the head up to the tail bone.

“As it scans, it senses where there is a problem and concentrates on it. It balances blood pressure and reduces pain,” Kiggundu said in an interview, adding that the machine massages naturally and it is also good for people with diabetes and blood pressure issues.

Dr. Chris Kiggundu working on one of the clients

He says the machine puts back the spine where it was originally if it has slightly moved away like it is the case for people who sit for long hours.
It takes massage and scanning goes for 40 minutes. “For people, who are paralyzed, it makes their senses active again,” Kiggundu said, adding that it is recommended one uses the machine at least three times a week but it depends on the situation one is in.
He says they charge Shs50,000 per 40 minutes and offer discounts for those taking up monthly packages. “Don’t wait to have back pain and rush here,” he says, adding that the machine also helps one relax, thus reducing on stress. He adds that the head from the machine melts the spinal fluids, leaving one refreshed.

The automatic massage bed

“It also reduces radiation, so it is good for those who use phones and computers,” he says, adding that the company is in the process of bringing in more automatic massage beds due to the growing customer numbers.
In his concluding remarks, Kiggundu said the machine also helps users avoid headaches, chronic fatigue, gastric problems, bladder issues and severe pain and irregular menstruation among others.

Mystique Massage Clinic is located in Wandegeya behind Stanbic Bank. You can contact them via: 0703957918, 0777158096

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