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    M7 Slaps Minister For Chewing Investor Bribe

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    By Grapevine
    In a rare show of anger, Kaguta M7 the President recently lost his cool and slapped one of his ministers after the latter was implicated in bribery allegations. Reliable State House sources say that on getting reports of the minister’s conduct mostly targeting foreign investors, M7 summoned the minister to a meeting of two.

    M7, who is known to act very furiously against ministers and his other subordinates who aspire to get rich quick, sought to use this as a confession meeting hoping the heavily implicated minister would own up and seek forgiveness. To the contrary, despite compelling evidence M7 put on the table, the minister tried to defend himself but his defense wasn’t adding up. M7 lost his cool, banged the tables while raising his voice and asked the minister “do you mind listening to yourself to hear how unbelievable you sound? The more you talk, the more you implicate yourself.” The minister shivered and kept saying “no your excellence this is the work of the Mbabazi mafia-you know they have never forgiven me because of the way I worked hard to fail them in Kigezi.” At this point in time, M7 who had just read a very unflattering newspaper article started breathing fire and grabbed the minister by the collar and drowned him in several slaps. The hapless minister fell on the ground and called for help while shouting “your excellence let me tell the truth…, please forgive me I will never do it again. I swear upon God sir that I will overcome Satan next time.”

    Reliable State House sources say M7 assured the minister never to play with him again because “in the Hakuna Mchezo term of government, we mean it when we say zero tolerance to corruption.” We obviously won’t expressly name the minister for legal reasons but will give a little more descriptive hints for the benefit of our readers; the minister is from Kigezi sub region and seems to live under incurable debt curse.
    M7 hoped being elevated to cabinet would cure the flamboyant minister’s debt-stricken life but it appears he was expecting too much from this minister whose other problem is extravagance of babes and donning very expensive attire and suits. Cabinet colleagues, who got to know about the battered minister’s misery, nowadays use him as the best emissary to warn other colleagues in the habit of soliciting bribes from foreign investors because these days such investors have the highest propensity to report to Mzee whoever seeks bribe from them.

    The following scenario explains how the battered minister’s 40 days of luck run out on him; a group of investors unintentionally reported to the President. They started by telling the man from Rwakitura thus; “you are a very good man but the problem it’s not easy to see you. It has taken us so long until we met Honorable….and we gave him USD30,000 after he told us that this is the only way we could meet you without further delay.” M7 was furious not necessarily because his otherwise obedient minister had chewed so much from this particular investor. No. M7’s rage was because this same minister has habitually been coming to him to report and criticize fellow ministers accused of bribe solicitation yet it turns out this wasn’t his first time to pocket kickbacks. And denying when confronted with hard facts by Mzee further infuriated the otherwise very tolerant politician from Rwakitura. On learning of this bribery saga, other cabinet ministers who used to admire and respect the thumped minister, have lost all the admiration they had for this otherwise well collected eloquent politician.

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    MASTERS OF CHAOS! Minister Mao Warns Bobi Wine To Prepare For The Worst From Mpuuga, DP Block Politicians…

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    NUP boss Bobi Wine. Inset L is DP's Norbert Mao and R inset is Matthias Mpuuga

    Justice and Constitutional Affairs minister who also doubles as the Democratic Party President General Norbert Mao has warned National Unity Platform (NUP) President Robert Kyagulanyi Ssentamu (Bobi Wine) to prepare for the worst from Mathias Mpuuga Nsamba and members of the DP Block.

    Exclusively speaking to theGrapevine, Mao explain that when he saw Mpuuga and his friends who were formally members of Suubi, a political pressure group and DP party crossing to NUP, he envisioned what is happening right now.

    He added that the said people were a problem to DP and when they joined NUP, the DP problem crossed to Bobi Wine.

    Bobi Wine is under attack from members of his party who crossed from DP to NUP. They have even threatened to reveal their next political action next month at Mpuuga’s thanks giving ceremony where Charles Peter Mayiga the Buganda Kingdom premier is expected as the Chief Guest.

    Highly placed sources revealed that Mpuuga and his group are planning to reveal a new political pressure group which will tour the entire country getting views from their supporters concerning their next course of action after disagreeing with Bobi Wine’s leadership.

    George Musisi, one of lawyers for NUP accused Mpuuga’s blue eyed boy Samuel Lubega Mukaku of supporting the NUP faction led by Moses Kibalama.

    Sources allege that Mpuuga’s faction are confident that Court is going to declare Bobi Wine’s leadership at NUP illegal and the party will return into the hands of Kibalama a move they think will give them the opportunity to use NUP as a vehicle in the 2026 general elections.

    Other sources claim that Mpuuga and group are planning to use Buganda Kingdom leadership structures from the village level to mobilize support in Buganda come 2026.

    Mpuuga is confident that it was Buganda structures that helped Bobi Wine to defeat President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni and his NRM party in Buganda and without them, Bobi will lose.

    However, Nakaseke South legislator Paulson Lutamaguzi Ssemakula rubbished Mpuuga’s political calculations explaining that Bobi Wine will remain strong whether Buganda’s Mayiga supports him or not.

    He asserts that Bwanika and Mpuuga are working for President Museveni and he has always deployed them whenever election period approaches and help him to divide and disorganize the opposition.

    Ssemakula said that in 2021, when Bobi Wine was planning to work with Dr. Kizza Besigye, Bwanika abused Dr. Besigye and accussed him of working for Museveni to distract Baganda.

    He added that in 2006, Bwanika swore an affidavit in support of Museveni against Dr. Besigye before the Supreme Court and his evidence saved Museveni and stamped his win.

    However, Bwanika also accuses Bobi Wine of working for Museveni to stop the opposition from taking state power.

    The Bobi Wine/Mpuuga misunderstanding deepened when Bobi Wine ordered him to apologise to the nation and return the Shs500m bribe he admittedly received from the parliamentary Commission as a reward for being a good Leader of Opposition in parliament. Mpuuga was also told to resign from the office of the Commissioner of parliament which he declined to do.

    Bobi Wine also suspended Mpuuga from the office the national vice president in charge of Buganda region on top of sending him to the party disciplinary committee.

     

    By Sengooba Alirabaki

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    Panic Among Ministers, M7 Set To Hold Cabinet Sittings At His Kisozi Farm With Tough Conditions…

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    Ministers have started panicking upon learning that very soon, their boss President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni is set to hold cabinet meetings from his Kisozi country home.

    Highly placed State House sources revealed that Museveni wants to test the knowledge of his ministers when it comes to issues of fighting poverty among Ugandans through government programs.

    “The president is tired of hearing his ministers telling people to participate in government programs like Parish Development Modal, Emyooga, the four acre farming modal and others. He now wants to know and challenge them on which other initiatives they have put in place to fight poverty among the communities surrounding them,” a source said.

    The source added that ministers are going to be given enough time to make submissions concerning their own initiatives with evidence showing how the public has benefited from them.

    He added that the president is also going to invite experts on development and those producing farming products with value addition to lecture ministers on how their communities can benefit from them.

    Museveni recently boasted of how he fought poverty among his neighbours in Kisozi.

    The President disclosed that as a way of appreciating his efforts, his neighbors have started giving him money and other products to thank him for the advice he gave them and they are no longer begging him by blocking him to ask for money when he is driving to his farm.

    “In the 2026 presidential campaign, the President doesn’t want Museveni Abeewo, he wants his campaign team to stick to developmental issues which help Ugandans to fight poverty,” a source said.

    The cabinet meetings at Kisozi are also expected to be attended by NRM officials from the party Secretariat, those from the Offices of the National Chairperson in Kyambogo and other top government officials.

     

    By Sengooba Alirabaki

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    Why Kasyate Is Resigning From KCCA Juicy PRO Job…

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    Simon Kasyate

    The Mighty Grapevine has exclusively learnt that flamboyant veteran journalist Simon Kasyate has tendered in his resignation.

    Sources claim that Kasyate, who is as the Head Public & Corporate Affairs at Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) tendered in his resignation letter after learning that the Public Service Commission had started the process of recruiting his replacement.

    The Public Service Commission started the process of looking for Kasyate’s replacement in 2023, through public advertising in the local dailies.

    Through his State House contacts, it is alleged Kasyate managed to secure the KCCA PRO job without following the required process of recruiting government workers.

    theGrapevine made several phone calls to Kasyate for a comment but they went unanswered.

    Before joining KCCA, Kasyate was the spokesperson for the European Union (EU), ESKOM, MasterCard Foundation among other top institutions.

     

    By Hadijjah Namagembe  

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