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    WISE COUNSEL: Are You Married? Do You Want To Divorce Your Spouse? Are You In A Violent Relationship? – Here Is Good Advice From Justice Bamugemereire….

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    Court of Appeal judge Justice Catherine Bamugemereire has tipped married couples on how to live together, grow together and build happy homes and families.

    In her address during the virtuous woman virtual conference hosted by Christ’s heart ministries international, the chairperson of the commission of inquiry into land matters revealed that for the 27 years she has been married, her sweetheart George Bamugemereire, the deputy Inspector General of Government has never slapped her even though they disagree on several occasions.

    Bamugemereire, a former family court judge noted that the current high divorce rate in Uganda scares her.

    Below is Bamugemereire’s address. 

    This is a very opportune time to be addressing marital issues because as I speak, we are living in an unprecedented period.

    We are living in a period of a new pandemic in the world called COVID-19, and there could never be a more opportune time to speak to families that have been locked-down together, whether voluntarily or forcefully. Many people are struggling and suffering financially due to this economic and social lockdown. Many are struggling to make sense of the fear and uncertainty that has been caused by these desperate times.

    My husband, George and I have been married for over 27 years.

    … Speaking to you as a judge who has worked in the Family Court or what we call the Family Division, I would like to say that in Uganda, a marriage is one that is recognized in any other part of the world as such. If you come from China, and state that under Chinese law you were married, we recognize that as a marriage. If you came from England, Arabia, Australia or any other corner of the world, and your marriage was recognized in that part of the world, it will be recognized in Uganda as well.

    Within the Ugandan context, there are 5 different forms of marriage recognised by law; Christian marriage, Mohammedan marriage, Customary marriage, Civil marriage and the Hindu marriage.

    The Christian and Civil marriage have one thing in common, they recognize that one man is married to one woman, to the exclusion of all others, for life. What that really means is that under our laws, it is recognized that a biological male shall marry a biological female and there shall not be any third parties in-between, and that marriage is ideally for life. Obviously we know that this has been challenged by a lot of changes now, to the extent that its one man, and one woman, until divorce do they part.

    We are seeing an increasing number of divorces in our system, and it is of great concern to us. I can tell you without fear of contradiction that when I first joined the Family Division around 2013, there were just a few cases. But by the time I left, I think they had tripled. As I speak now, the divorce cases are growing in number. We are seeing more Christians file for divorce. This is not a very good telling about the family situation in our country right now. Also, the statistics that show the causes of divorce are really pathetic.

    In the olden days, there were only three grounds for divorce i.e adultery, cruelty or desertion. For a woman, you had to prove two grounds: that your husband cheated on you, and that he either deserted you for more than two years or that he was cruel to you. On the other hand, a man seeking divorce had to prove one ground, and that’s of the wife cheating on him. And because of the differences in grounds for divorce, women were not comfortable with this. Women lawyers took this law to the constitutional court saying, ‘it required more from women than it did from men, and therefore it was discriminatory and not inline with the Constitution.’ As a result, that law was struck-down.

    As I speak today, the whole of section 4 of the divorce act, is not applicable to divorce in this country, which means that right now, you don’t have to prove any ground. If you want to divorce, you walk to court. It is very unfortunate because what this means is that right now, you can have any flimsy grounds as long as you prove that your marriage is irrevocably broken down.

    The stability of a nation is most times guaranteed by the stability of marriages and family as a unit. In fact, it is said that Capitalists were so eager to ensure that the family unit remains tight, because once the family unit was stable, and once the wealth of a family was safe and well guarded, then that wealth could remain in that nation and it was not wasted through divorce or any other means.

    You can see that there are economic advantages as to why people need to be married, and stay that way. Above all, Family is the best unit in which to bring up children. Children brought up in a stable marriage are children who will become more useful citizens. Statistics on children brought up in unstable marriages will show when you see them on the street, taking drugs and getting involved in several other kinds of things. These children are affected right from childhood, until they become adults. And the worst statistic is that children who come from divorced homes are likely to divorce themselves, and that adults who divorce the first time, are likely to divorce the second time. So, the statistics for divorce and instability, are quite dire.

    Therefore, if we want a stable environment for bringing up children, and building our economy and wealth, a stable marriage is the least you could ask for, and its the most you should work at.

    I hope this talk will help you realize that whereas we live in an extremely competitive environment, and that we have so many things competing with our marriages and spouses, it is important that this part of our lives remains stable.

    I can say without fear of contradiction that if I had had an unstable marriage, I don’t think I could have achieved half, or even the little that I have done. I believe that coming out of a stable environment every morning to go to work is one of the reasons I have the energy to do anything I am able to do. The same applies to children and the things that they do. You need to cultivate an environment that allows them to excel outside of your home.

    Many times, when women are growing up, they are told that if you are to go up, then marriage is going to become a hindrance. But I would like to testify and say that marriage, for me, is not a hindrance [to success.] And I know several other people, for whom it is not a hindrance. On the contrary, we have seen situations where the instability of people’s homes has been the hindrance they had to their jobs.

    Young ladies, when you are going up the corporate ladders, there is so much competition, and one lie that people are told is that if you don’t give up your marriage, then you will not go up. It is a lie straight from the gates of hell. It is one of those that has destroyed a lot of our young people. Once you give up the values for which you stand, then, most times, people will not believe you have any values for which they should take you.

    It is important you realize that marriage is an area of your life that you need to work on. Marriages are not something you enter into, and then assume that ‘you have arrived’, and then do nothing about. You have to work at your marriage the same way to tend a garden. You have got to work at your relationship every day.

    Why are relationships breaking down? It is because people stopped working on them. They stopped communicating. They stopped showing love. They stopped showing the other that this is how I love you. They don’t have any love language. Many do not take time to build their relationship, and often times realize too late that the person they left actually loved them and and vice versa.

    I do hope that despite the pressures of life, we will take time to build our marriages. How do you build your marriage? You communicate. There is no short cut to communication. You must be able to speak. There are marriages that have broken up, simply because communication broke down. People became too busy to talk to each other. They became too busy to have lunch or dinner together. They became too busy to be around their homes over the weekends. They became too withdrawn to talk to each other, and the marriage broke. So, communication is extremely important. Speak gently to one another. In this time of Covid-19, I would like to urge couples to be very understanding of one another, and be extremely patient of one another as a mode of communication.

    … There is always something good about somebody, so when you are stuck together during Covid-19, when you cannot get out, may this season be a time for you to stop and think, ‘Lord, what are you saying to me about my [spouse]?’ It is time for you to sit and talk, and make new resolutions for the family. It is time to grow your family and relationships. It is time to get to know your children more.

    Some men in this country are so busy that they don’t know which class their children are. They have no idea what homework their children do. The children are babysat by a TV. Covid-19 has made us sit together. Covid-19 is actually good for the family if we know what to do with the time, and not use it to achieve our selfish ends. Phones are a big problem to marriages these days.

    We are aware that right now there are rising cases of domestic violence. Please fathers, brothers and sisters, do not be more concerned about what children eat; be more concerned that you have a relationship with your child. The problems you are going through are being experienced by people elsewhere around the world… Marriage issues are every where in the world, but also, Uganda is one of the best places to practice your marriage. We need to take advantage of this season where we are squashed together in time and space to work on our marriages.

    There is nothing as wonderful as being forced into a space where two people are not talking to each other. Whether you like it or not, you have got to speak to each other. Don’t slap or beat each other… I have been married 27 years and have never been slapped by my husband, not to say that we haven’t disagreed before. We disagree a lot, but speak through our disagreements. We speak into them and move on, and we don’t keep the anger for too long. We sit together and are open to each other.

     

    By Sengooba Alirabaki

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    CELEBRITY GOSSIP

    Tamale Mirundi, Lawyer Mabirizi On Standby To Stand Surety For TikToker Presure 24-7 Who Is Battling Charges Of Insulting Kabaka Mutebi…

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    L-R: Tik Toker Ibrahim Musana, Tamale Mirundi and lawyer Mabirizi

    President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni’s Senior Presidential Advisor in charge of media Joseph Tamale Mirundi and maverick city lawyer Kassim Male Mabirizi are set to stand surety for Ibrahim Musana (27) alias “Pressure 247,” who was remanded to Luzira prison on charges of promoting hate speech and spreading malicious information.

    Last week, Buganda Road Chief Magistrate Ronald Kayizzi remanded Musana alias Pressure Pressure 24/7 to prison until 7th March 2024 when he will return for the mention of his cases.

    The trial Magistrate gave the accused person the opportunity to apply for bail but the sureties he presented to Court were not satisfactory because they did not have the necessary documents including a National Identity Card.

    As relatives and friends are still strategising on how to rescue Musana from prison, Mirundi confirmed that he is available to stand surety for him.

    Mirundi claims that the charges slapped on Musana are a threat to freedom of speech and expression and all Ugandans should come out and stand with him.

    “I have to stand with that boy, Mayiga and his people at Mengo gave money to a one Dr. T. Amala to appear on their Kingdom television and radio and he made comedy out of me. They gave him packets of waragi and drugs to show the public that I always drank and I use drugs. But they used him and after dumped him,” Mirundi said.

    He added that in Uganda, it is only President Museveni and First Lady Janet Kaguta Museveni who can win a defamatory case but the reputation of many big wigs is already damaged by no oner other than themselves.

    He added that they don’t have any moral authority to drag other people to courts of law claiming that they were defamed.

    He warned Buganda Kingdom officials to be very careful on proceeding with the case against Musana noting that he will guide him and expose them in court because he knows their dirty dealings which include stealing gifts donated by Baganda to their King.

    “I know some Royals fighting for Kingship are the ones behind the charging of this boy because he calls himself a King with proof that he belongs to the royal bloodline. They know that anytime he can ask for a DNA test,” Mirundi said.

    Lawyer Mabirizi also confirmed his readiness to fight for Musana’s right explaining that he didn’t commit any offence by insulting a person holding a public office and surviving on taxes paid by Ugandans.

    Mabirizi warned that if Kabaka Mutebi proceeds with imprisoning people because they have talked about him, Baganda would become angry and support the abolition of cultural leadership in Uganda as they did in 1966 because his father Sir Edward Mutesa was also threatening people’s free speech.

    Mabirizi gave a scenario when King Mutesa commanded Buganda police to storm Lubaga Cathedral to arrest Archbishop Nsubuga because he was supporting Ben Kiwanuka of Democratic Party and he survived because he was not found at the premises of the church.

    However, Israel Kitooke Kazibwe the Buganda Kingdom information and mobilization minister warned that the Kingdom will take all legal means available to punish those threatening and insulting the person of Ronald Muwenda Mutebi and his Office as the Kabaka of Buganda.

    He added that they will further take action including imprisoning those who take Kabaka Mutebi to Court on what he termed as stupid cases.

     

    By Hadijah Nakazibwe

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    CELEBRITY GOSSIP

    Mirundi Narrates How He Survived Bullets After Allegedly Urinating On Pastor Ssenyonga’s Building…

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    Tamale Mirundi

    President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni’s Senior Presidential Advisor on Media has narrated how he survived bullets while urinating on the building belonging to Pastor Jackson Ssenyonga of Christian Life Church in Bwaise a Kampala suburb.

    Joseph Tamale Mirundi revealed that one day, during the days when he was still being hosted at Pastor Ssenyonga’s top radio every Monday, he was approached by a Local Defense Unity (LDU) Soldier who accused him of dirtening their place of work. The LDU officer told Mirundi that his action were likely to cause deadly diseases to those who attend the church.

    Mirundi said that when he denied committing any crime, the LDU officer started pointing at the zip of his trousers claiming that it was open. He carefully observed him coaching his gun.

    He boasted that his senses informed him that the LDU man wanted to shoot him. He jumped in the air like an SFC Command and kicked the LDU soldier in the chest sending him tumbling down.

    He added that he stepped on his neck and the LDU officer was saved by Mirundi’s SFC Commandos who were given to him by Gen. Muhoozi Kainerugaba who pleaded with him not to kill a government soldier.

    “For me I fear those LDU people and I don’t want to come close to them because they are naive and they always want to show the public that they know how to use a gun. They don’t normally get the opportunity to fire bullets like other soldiers who go to war. So I don’t want them to make me their shooting target,” Mirundi said.

    He further revealed that he made investigations through his Mirundi Internal Security Organisation (MISO) and established that there was a senior pastor who was behind the LDU soldier who wanted him dead because of his loyalty and support to House of Prayer Ministries International senior pastor Alosious Bujjingo.

    He claimed that the said pastor had a misunderstanding with Bujjingo and was the one behind Teddy Bujjingo Naluswa who is fighting Bijjingo’s divorce case at the Family Division of the High Court.

     

    By Hadijjah Namagembe

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    CELEBRITY GOSSIP

    TROUBLE: How Top Magistrate Fueled City Businessman’s Divorce To Chew His Wife…

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    Drama ensued recently when a Master of Ceremony (MC) was forced to withdraw a microphone from a city businessman who attacked a male magistrate accusing him of fueling the collapse of his marriage.

    The incident happened at a public engagement meeting that was held at a playground in one of the five Divisions that form Kampala city where the Division leadership and the magistrate (names withheld) were invited by the Division Deputy Resident City Commission to advise the public on how to prevent and fight crime and to assess the public’s views towards the Court’s performance in the area

    When the invited guest had finished making their speeches, the MC invited those with questions to ask for the microphone.

    Among the attendees was a businessman (names withheld) who is popular in the Division.

    When he raised his hand, the MC quickly gave him the microphone.

    “I thank all our leaders here for organising such a wonderful meeting to air out our grievances and problems. I have a serious issue with our magistrate who is here with us, I’m very sure that he knows me very well because I appeared before him defending my marriage but he used the law to make sure that I lose my wife,” the businessman said before the microphone was grabbed from him.

    The crowd started shouting on top of their voices asking the MC why he removed the microphone from their man. The crowd wondered why he was being silenced yet the meeting was called to give them the opportunity to air out their grievances.

    The MC advised the businessman to talk to his lawyers and advised him on how to get justice, insisting that he cannot allow a full magistrate to be humiliated without evidence.

    theGrapevine sat the businessman down quietly after the meeting and he narrated how the said magistrate stole his wife.

    The businessman claimed that it all started when he appeared before the said magistrate to defend the divorce case his wife had filed against him.

    He disclosed that throughout the whole case, the Magistrate was harsh towards him and he did not know why.

    “I pleaded with him to give me six months to sort out my issues with my wife because I was still in love with her given that her issue was very small but the man just directed me to come back the next week for the hearing of the case,” the businessman said.

    He claims that he was surprised one day when after the hearing, he waited at the court premises to talk to his wife, who spent almost an hour inside court.

    When he went back inside court to ask the clerk about the whereabouts of his wife, the clerk told him that she was still inside the magistrate’s chambers.

    He said that within one month after the incident, the magistrate had already finished the case, dissolved the marriage and while delivering his judgment warned him to stop playing with people’s daughters because in the end they kill their future.

    He claims that he did not respond to him but just moved out of the courtroom since he had lost his wife, and his properties.

    He said that the next time he saw his wife moving with the magistrate in the same car and he was told that they are in love which confirmed allegations that he was the one fueling their divorce to speed up the process because he was interested in her even though she was legally married.

    He was advised by his friend who is a lawyer to petition Judicial Service Commission for help.

     

    By Sengooba Alirabaki

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